Bugs, Mr. Rico!!!

OK, so I've got this...thing... about critters with more than 4 legs or less than 2.

So I get home about 2200 this evening and as usual keep the lights off so as to avoid waking the wife, who's a light sleeper.

I get about halfway across the living room- it's not quite pitch black, mind- and something brushes across the top of my skull. My bald skull- I shave my head to complete the job Mother Nature began. I grab my flashlight off my belt and investigate, and find this-
right overhead. Except not lit anywhere NEAR as well as it is in the picture.

There follows a moment of sheer terror when the primitive lizardbrain part of me quickly recognizes two body segments and EIGHT FREAKING HAIR LEGS, six inches from my face. This all happens in a few microseconds and while I'm happy to report I didn't scream (THIS time!), I did express my surprise in a much loftier manner:

NNNGGUUUAAARRRGGGHHH... Ah, shit. Goddamnit.

The giggling from the back of the house from my son, and the loudly whispered "Ha! We got him!" accompanied by a sound that can only be a high-five tell the rest of the story. I have been set up. I have been "punked", by my lovely wife and most-loved son.

I'm NOT amused. Looking at that damn thing still creeps me out, even with all the lights on in the room.